Menciones Del Fuego!

Burners are funny people and I was glad to be camped with some hilarious ones. And then there was Camp Stereotype...I can't really put most of their quotes up, cuz they're too nasty. Anyway, here's what I recall. If you got more, hook me up!

"I have to go to the bathroom...I better get my camera."
- Chris, needing to seperate thoughts better

"You have a split pole."
- Michelle, helping Chris put up his tent...or maybe looking up his pantleg

"Did that 11 Year Old just give us drugs?"
- Chris, wary of free cupcakes

"BREASTICLES!"
- Most of Camp Solar Blue

"I'm not going to show you my bionic third leg. It's also an air pump."
- James, discussing his upgrades

Michelle:		I found a fleecy jacket in my tent this morning. Is that anybody's?
Chris:		You found a feces jacket?
Cordain:		Yuck, a feces jacket? Who would have that?
Chris:		Well, I've seen worse at this festival.

"Yeah, underboob is way sexier than sideboob."
- Michelle, making good outfit choices

"I should just be filming all this. Hey! That's it! Next year - 'Real World: Playa Del Fuego'!
- Chris, a font of million dollar ideas

Michelle:		Jill made some stuff in there with some fake meat. It's good!
Somebody:		Eat more chikin'!
James:		Eat more girl!
Chris:		If you rub it, you can get gravy.
- A little raunchy, but we all laughed

"Nice hat, man. You look like Recon from GI Joe."
- Chris, unsure about James' headgear style choice
and we were wrong...it was 'Recondo'

Chris (talking to James): Hey, if she hooks up again tonight, I'll take the pics.

Michelle (just walking over): What're you guys talking about?

Chris: Nothing...just try to face the camera and tilt your head up.

"So far I've seen six boobs and three shlongs. That's good! I'm trying to keep a high boob-to-shlong ratio."
- Chris, monitoring the nudity

Chris: Okay, I'm at twenty-seven boobs and four and a half penises so far.

Everybody: Waitaminit...

"Well, one good thing about all these naked men running around. I am now 100% sure that I'm hetero."
- Chris, clearing things up

Almond Joy (getting suntan lotion rubbed on her back): Oh, good job. Do you give massages?

Chris: Only if I want to get laid.

Almond Joy: Good for you. If you had lied, I would have exploited it.

"So last night I was all drunk and made a sandwich with cheese and turkey, like this one I'm eating now. I don't recall there being paper on the cheese when I made that one last night. I'm a bit concerned I ate some cheese paper. I'm going to have a scary poo. Or maybe I won't poo at all for a couple days and then I'll blow the plug. I should stop talking."
- Chris...I should've stopped about three sentences before that.

"I'll make you two burgers...you can pick which one to eat."
- Cristina, trying to poison me 'Princess Bride' style

"Damn...naked men are ugly. They look like hairy, albino baby elephants. Except you, Cordain...you probably look like a hairy anteater."
- Chris, believing the "once you go black" hype

"It's really easy! You just put your lips around it and suck!"
- James, explaining how to do Whippits

"OH MY GOD that feels good! The stick frigging ROCKS!"
- Nala, either assuring her sexuality or playing with a massage tool

"Okay, that's the second time you spilled out of your mouth. Put the cup to your mouth, open mouth, pour in drink, close mouth, remove cup. It's not hard. I can write you a procedure if you'd like."
- Chris, on people with drinking problems

"He likes it like that...just like a pekingese!"
- Ron, after Jose got poked in the butt. Awkward stares ensued.

"Why are you wearing a tampon?"
- Chris, observing James' high-tech glowstick

Chris: Hey, get up, Captain Tampon! (see above)

Guy I don't remember: Doesn't Captain Tampon need a sidekick?

Chris: How about Doucheboy?

GIDR: Nice! What about a villain?

Chris: Hmm....Master Menstruation! But he only causes trouble 3-5 days a month.