"Heil Seitan! Go Vegan!"
- One of Chloe's Shirts
"(Silence)...we'll do that later....(walk away)"
- Beans to Connie, taking a conversation in his head into the real world
"Bacon for Mayor!"
- Camp LSD at 5:30am...loudly...repeatedly...2 feet from my head
"Mmm...A Snickers bar wrapped in bacon and deep-fried?
I'd let that dance on my tongue for an hour before I was willing to swallow it."
- Camp LSD Denizen...5:45am...bastards
"Look, look...very HAPPY Pink Panther!"
- Master Cheng the Papercutter, after making a slightly erotic,
pop-up cutout of the Pink Panther
"Um...that should have an 'A' in it..."
- Some Dumbass Kid getting his girlfriend's name tattooed on
his finger...Hope he knows a girl named 'Kiti'!
"Miss...your marinara sauce! Miss! Oh, she passed out on the ground. You had cheese fries, sir?"
- The Fried Foods guy, honestly caring about his customers
"I had a problem. The beer distributor didn't have any cold beer.
I said, 'How the hell am I supposed to drink warm beer while I'm driving to the festival?'"
- Larry, the multitasker
Hippie Girl: |
Would this hold white ink well?(pulls down her pants to reveal a dove tattoo and most of her surprisingly furry pelvis) |
Kiti The Tattoo Artist: |
Sure, we can get it shaved....SHADED in nicely. |
"If that girl whips out her pooter one more time, I'm going to take it from her."
- Chris, after the above girl pulled down her pants a second time
"Lauren comes first!"
- Lauren, making her place in a 3-way known
"If I find the guy that stole my fifty chocolates, I'm going to make him eat every *#*&(!_*$^$ last one of them until he pukes and then I'm going to make him eat the @#)($*_!& puke! And then I'll even make him smoke some of my own weed so he'll have the munchies so he'll keep eating the chocolates until he spins so hard he's on the roof! I'll go and buy 100 hits of acid shove them up his @$$. He won't forget how bad he $)(%!&!*&$# up when he stole money from me!"
- The angry stolen chocolate guy, with bad financial math |
5-Year Old Girl: |
Want to do a hula hoop challenge with me? |
Gullible Hippie: |
A hula hoop challenge? okay, sure! |
5-Year Old Girl: |
Okay, but if I win you have to give me a dollar. |
Gullible Hippie: |
I don't have to give you a dollar...I'm bigger than you! |
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